This is the fun book I read recently.
Meetings
Meetings are a type of performance art, with each actor taking on one of these challenging roles:
Master of the Obvious
The Master feels a responsibility to share his wisdom at every opportunity. The favored lines of the Master of the Obvious include:
You need customers in order to have revenue!
Profit is the difference between Income and Expense.
We want a win-win solution.
You can practice for this role while you are alone. All you need is a common table lamp. Lean toward the lamp and repeatedly explain why "Electricity is essential" to the illumination process. Continue to restate the thought in different ways.
Well intentioned Sadist
The well-intentioned sadist believes that meetings should hurt. They have the same motto as serial killers: Does this hurt? How about now.
The Well Intentioned Sadist has several tools at this disposal for causing discomfort in others.
Schedule excessively long meetings regardless of the topic.
Have no clear purpose.
Have no bathroom breaks.
Schedule meetings for Friday afternoons or lunchtimes.
Whining Martyr
As a whining Martyr, you should craft your complaints into tales that illustrate how valuable and intelligent you are compared to the obstructionist dolts who surround you.
Recommended Whines:
I cant believe the CEO wants another meeting with me.
Boy, I'd love to be able to take sick days like you people who don't have work to do.
Rambling Man
The Rambling man's role is to redirect any topic toward an unrelated event in which he participated.
Sleeper
The sleeper is essentially a stage prop. There are no lines involved in this role. It's acceptable to nod the head gently when the other actors are speaking. If trapped into reponding verbally, as a last resort you can use one of these phrases:
"Uh huh"
"Nothing new to report."
"Same ol' same ol'"
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